The Ballad of Robert Smith Part 5

Cash in hand and a life of crime,

Bob rapidly served out his time.

Bob visited the bookie everyday

And frittered nearly all his pay away.

Then a new woman came into Bob’s life

And very soon Susan became Bob’s wife

So Bob Smith flitted from his parent’s house

And went to live with his new spouse.

Then after moving into Susan’s flat

Bob won fifteen hundred pounds on the flat.

He then decided to go it alone

And start a wee business of his own.

He started to draw up a business plan

And bought lots of equipment and a van.

Bob was happy he now was his own boss

And didn’t worry that he might make a loss.

For the first time in his life Bob felt glad

And in the local rag he placed an ad.

He got a printer to print a flyer:

“Painter and decorator for hire”

I’ll do all your painting and decorate

For a really reasonable daily rate.

Bob Smith frittered away all of his cash,

But with his van and his tools he looked real flash.

Bob got lots of credit wherever he went

And lost track of all the money he spent.

This charade went on for about three years

Till the time came for tantrums and many sad tears.

The Inland Revenue made a demand

For taxes on all the work “cash in hand”

And when Bob Smith couldn’t afford to pay

The taxman took all his assets away.

‘Twas as though Bob Smith was under a curse

His life after that went from bad to worse.

Bob’s beer was finished so he went to bed

With all these thoughts running through his head.

Bob hit the pillow, but didn’t sleep well

And woke up with the hangover from hell.

Reluctantly Bob got out of his bed

And took some painkillers for his sore head.

He put on the kettle to make some tea

And reflected on his housebreaking spree.

The main drawback about Bob’s life of crime